Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel

A birdcage

In this book the rather well know Relationship Therapist Esther Perel explains the strain that often grows between a couple's familiar intimacy growing over the years and their dwindling sexual desire. A few quotes just to get you interested in the subject. Later on more on this interesting book and its als interesting author:

“Does good intimacy always lead to good sex? Why is it that the transition to parenthood so often spells erotic disaster? Why is the forbidden so erotic? Is it possible to want what we already have?

We all share a fundamental need for security, which propels us toward committed relationships in the first place; but we have an equally strong need for adventure and excitement. Modern romance promises that it’s possible to meet these two distinct sets of needs in one place. Still, I’m not convinced”.

.....

“As a couples therapist, I have inverted the usual therapeutic priorities. In my field we are taught to inquire about the state of the union first and then ask how this is manifested in the bedroom. Seen this way, the sexual relationship is a metaphor for the overall relationship. The underlying assumption is that if we can improve the relationship, the sex will follow. But in my experience, this is often not the case.”

More to follow, from this original thinker ....

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